It’s Wednesday and I have a little teaser for you! Check out an excerpt from a new novel Fractured Heart and scroll down for an amazing giveaway from author, Krystle Lewallen.
Fractured Heart (The Redemption Series #1)
Release Date: November 29, 2013
Fractured Heart (The Redemption Series #1)
Release Date: November 29, 2013
It is because we love them so much that we lay our heart in their hands. So when they do not treat it delicately, instead choosing to squeeze the life out of it, it becomes fractured. A fractured heart, almost impossible to heal the pain etched into that tiny little organ.
But there is mercy...
My name is Katy. I have been ripped apart and torn to shreds by past and present circumstances. Everything that I am has been tested, and faith is slowly fading away. I try to forget the past and move on. I try not to let those events define my life. But the past, she just walked through the door, and she is about to test every limit that I can handle.
My life...just got real.
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"This is the best place to come and practice my meditating and breathing techniques. I do this every Sunday after church. It helps reduce stress." Walking over to him I listen intently. "It's all about connecting your mind," he says as he places one long finger on my forehead, "with your body." He places another finger just below my neck. As if on cue I tense from the touch but my stomach also flutters with excitement. I'm so conflicted. He doesn't linger and pulls away quickly. "It's fairly simple and slow, so you should be able to catch on just by watching a few times." He places his hands on his hips. "Ready?"
I nod my head yes. He stands with his left foot out, so his leg is bent at the knee, and extends his right foot straight back. Reaching forward with his left hand straight out he brings his right all the way around from front to back ending back in front, so his arms are side by side straight out in front of him. Bringing his feet together and standing up straight, he makes a fist out of both hands and brings them in next to his side, elbows down.
He moves slow, soft, and gently, as he scoops his hands all the way down in front of him and brings them back up over his head. Looking over at me he says, "Tai Chi. It's all about focus and breathing. When I'm practicing Tai Chi, my mind and body become one, as I concentrate on the movements of my arms and legs, emptying my thoughts. It gives me that time I need to be alone with God."
I just stand there watching him, mesmerized by the gracefulness that he can pull off, as he extends his left leg to the side and slowly moves his body in the same direction, with his arms held out as if he was defending himself. His muscles flex with every fist and he catches me staring. My cheeks burn from the embarrassment of being caught, but he just smiles.
"Don't tell me this intimidates you? You know Krav Maga, remember?" he says mockingly, as a smile plays on his lips.
"Well, I'm just afraid I can't live up to your gracefulness." Standing next to him I wait till he is back at the beginning and mirror his stance. He repeats the movements, this time I follow, only slightly behind. After a good twenty minutes of this I can do it on my own.
"Not too bad. And your right, you can't live up to my gracefulness," he says with a smirk.
"I'm sorry that I'm not as feminine as you. I have a wonderful collection of purses if you're interested." He chuckles deeply reminding me of just how masculine he is.
"I confess that I have a man purse. I use it as an overnight bag. It's very spacious and easy to handle." He sounds like he is selling me something.
"Wow, I'm learning so much about you today."
"And I don't know much about you," he says. I know he wants me to talk about what happened. I breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth, circling my left leg around before planting it firmly in the sand.
"My life is complicated. And not very interesting." Pull, push, swoop, and breathe. He doesn't say anything for a while. All I can hear is the seagulls overhead and our intermingled breathing with the crash of the waves.
"It doesn't matter if you have an interesting life Katy. What matters is how your life is effective. You probably don't see yourself the way others do. There is something in you waiting to come out." I choose not to examine the depth of the meaning behind his words. I may not like what type of person it will make me.
For another thirty minutes we continue the Tai Chi. It is relaxing considering my eyeballs were roaming everywhere when we first got here. Now, as we finish, I just concentrate on my breathing and the movements.
"I think that's enough for today," Caleb says as he walks over to his water bottle and takes a few big gulps of it. I do the same and sit in the sand. Coming over he sits next to me and looks out over the ocean.
"This is beautiful, this spot. I've lived here my whole life and never realized it was this close," I say. I had been out here plenty of times, but never seen the beach.
"It is, but beauty is everywhere," looking at me he says, "in everything. It's not hard to find if that's what you're looking for."
"So one day you just walked around thinking, 'I'm looking for something beautiful' and presto." I spread my arms out towards the beach surrounding us.
"It's all about how you think. If you choose to see the pain and ugly in something then that is all you are ever going to get from it. I actually saw this part of the beach several times before I actually saw its beauty." Leaning back in the sand on my hands, I look up at the blue cloudless sky.
"What about the things that are truly painful and ugly; death, murder, abuse, kidnapping? How can you ever see something beautiful and good in those things?"
"There is nothing beautiful in those things. Especially when the wounds are fresh, but you can recover fully from them and turn them into something positive in your life. That's what I have been telling myself every day since my brother's death." Staring into his eyes, there is a contentment in them that I have never known.
"What about being physically attacked? What good comes from that?"
He looks at me long and hard before he answers. "Nothing. But what you choose."
Feeling embarrassed, I turn my gaze back to the sky. Breathing in and out, I focus only on that trying not to think about what is going through his head. Maybe I should clarify and tell him what happened? But I feel so disgusted with myself, and when I think about that night it brings feelings of shame and dread. My eyes burn, as I struggle to keep the tears at bay. I can feel a single traitorous tear start to slide down my cheek. My face remains neutral, not changing, no emotion. Then I feel his hand slide over mine in the sand as our fingers intertwine. It wasn't expected, but regardless, I didn't flinch. This feels natural maybe my hand is a safe zone or...maybe Caleb is a safe zone.
"Katy." I don't want to look at him, too embarrassed by my tears and my past. "Katy, I would never judge you. It doesn't matter, whatever happened to you in your past is exactly that, the past. All that matters is the present, right here right now, and the future. The decisions you make from here on out, those matter." I look down, pull my hand out from under his, and cross my legs. Grabbing handfuls of sand I open my hand palm up and let the sand slip between my fingers; anything to avoid his gaze. I can feel the burn of his stare on me. "If you ever want to talk about it, I'll listen." he continues. "It won't change the way I look at you." How does he look at me?
I shake my head. "Maybe some other time. It's not easy to talk about. But can I ask you a question?"
"How much do you know?" I ask self-consciously.
"Nothing Katy. I know nothing except what I can see visibly. Your bruised ankles, the sadness in the tone of your voice, the dark circles under your eyes, tears you shed, the way you don't like to be alone with people or have to have your back against something. You don't like to be touched," he says softly.
"Very perceptive," I say, smiling a little. "You have a different affect on me. My body and instincts respond differently with you each second we spend together."
Sitting back on his hands he says, "Well, then we'll have to spend more time together."
I think of Faye and how I want her to go on and live her life. Not being trapped by me and my issues. Would I do that to Caleb? Hanging around him, would he do the same and sacrifice for me. He doesn't really know who I am, but in the short time I have known him he definitely seems like the type to sacrifice for others.
All I can say to him is, "Maybe." I don't want to do to him what I have done to Faye.
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About the Author:
Krystle is a full time stay at home mom with a passion for reading and writing. She lives on an island in Florida with her husband and two young boys. After pursuing a career in pharmacy, and working in a pharmacy for 5 years, she decided to pursue her first passion, writing. Today, she writes as if it were a living breathing part of her, and she loves every moment of it.